Ti Poze

We are working hard and it's so tiring but it feels so worthwhile. It's a perfect set up here, the place we are staying, because we leave at night and are done with work at the end of the day. There is a retreat waiting for us with a hot meal and a shower and a space on the floor we can crash. I am still pretty amazed at this provision.

By the end of the day yesterday, day six of constant work, we all kind of hit the wall. It's starting to show. Exhaustion is taking over and not feeling the best physically. It will be ok. We decided to take a day off today, which should be a good rest.

So, yes, a little bit of a wall yesterday. Lisa was pulled to a different site so I was the only nurse in the peds unit. It wasn't so busy with people coming, but it's too much to do a good job trying to take care of seven and help the doctors with triage and getting the new critical kids admitted and orders sorted through (and sifting through the mass chaos that is our documentation!). At one point it was three docs and me... um, not fair! But they were gracious and stepped in where needed, like starting most of the IVs and getting meds prepared. There is such a plethora of people who have flown in here to help. People from all over the world and from all different specialties; it's just so crazy. But it seems most are stepping up to whatever they are thrown into.

But oh, the sight of the city really hit me yesterday on our drive home, even though I see it everyday. Maybe my fatigue level was setting in, or just the constant sight of destruction and garbage and smoke everywhere, or because we drove a different route through what used to be Port-au-Prince proper, downtown. There was no building intact that I saw. Seriously, it looked like a war zone, as if bombs had gone off everywhere. You pass the buildings that are completely flattened, all the levels now like a stack of pancakes and can't help but think to the fact of how many people had been inside. And you think of how on earth is anyone going to be able to fix this? It's just too large to comprehend and I don't see how it's possible. I try not to let my mind go there. It helps to just remind myself of my role in this: just to take care of one sick person at a time, until a solution bigger than myself comes through. Psalms 46 is so vivid here; really ringing true. God is present here and he is building up his own city even when there seems like there is no hope. Sometimes it's hard to remember that.